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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in madammermaid's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
8:37 am
Sleeping in Saunas...
It's so fucking hot it my room... all those sheets sticking to my skin, the fan blasting my body with short bursts of hot air every 5 seconds or so... makes for terrible sleeping conditions.

Wen to the GSL(Gold Star Lounge, I think I am using acronyms due to the fact that I was browsing the Hipster Handbook the other night) with 'manders and Matt, then met some other people. "Nightmoves" graced my ears at least 3 times throughout the course of the night & the blonde bartender told me to let him know when I was ready to "make it".

For those of you who are still unaware, I will be spending the 4th in a C'dale trailer on a patch of grass with a grill, swimming in a lake, and eating the cheese Ben is supposed to bring me back from Vermont...

This is all I've got for now, it's just been a while so I thought I was due... maybe more will come to me when my brain cools off.

Current Mood: hot
Sunday, June 19th, 2005
12:40 pm
I hate it when juicy tomatoes soak into your sandwich bread making a sloppy mess for your lunch
I am eating lunch... obviously. Halter w/no bra & terry cloth shorty shorts, the all around theme of summer. Went to that outlet mall in Aurora yesterday... so many pairs of CK underwear...

So now I am reading "Naked" by David Sedaris which is pretty amusing... he will be at Borders on State the 27th if anyone is interested... something about that book with the Barbie on the cover, the name is escaping my mind at the moment...

Does anyone know any kick ass placed into which I can move? Logan Square is looking like the location, so that would be helpful. We need a 3 bedroom and Ben is hoping for 2 bathrooms, and I want a place with some on-site laundry.

I spent Friday night at my parents house in B-town, watching 5 back to back episodes of "Date My Mom", with my mom of course. Satelite T.V. is so fantastically wonderful.

These are the criteria for the new people I will meet this Summer:

1. Has a moped or scooter (I don't exactly know the difference)
2. Lives off a trust fund
3. Sports tattooed eye liner
4. Vacations in Dubai
5. Is in a book club or bowling league
6. Knows how to cook BBQ turkey legs
7. Competes in rodeos
8. Makes more lists than I do...

Good thing my life is so full of direction/ambition...

Current Mood: awake
Friday, June 17th, 2005
3:57 am
If I vomit in the CPR mannequin, can I still pass?
I spent so much time away from home today. Too much sleeping in Grant Park until the police came riding through to shoo away the homeless people "catching some rays".

I woke up in a shit storm this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I think this has something to do with the massive food consumption I've experienced over the past couple of days. There are so many varieties of sandwiches with cheese, I don't even know what to do with myself. Who would have imagined I love cheeseburgers so fucking much? And drinking so many Jack & Ginger's at apartments in the loop?

Did I mention my feelings of resentment toward technology? My email is decidedly broken.

My neuroses have been taking on interesting manifestations lately, I don't want to delve into this topic too much, but I thought I would throw it out there... for those of you who will read and inquire.

Can someone agree to buy a 1 day ticket for lollapolooza already? I want to go Sunday... Teegan & Sara, Drive-by-Truckers, Louis XIV, and secretly Ben Kweller.

A Bitch in the House starts off spectacular, then gets a bit redundant and boring at the end... everyone should read the story about the obese woman...

I am going to be in the town housing the RR Star tomorrow afternoon & evening.... coming back on Sat. night... gotta visit those friends with engagement rings...

Current Mood: annoyed
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
2:12 am
Summer is an inappriopriate time for keeping a livejournal
Can a person use the word "shit-storm" more times than I have in the past week? I think it was subconsciously derived from "The Life Aquatic".

It's 1:15 and I am sitting here with a fresh cup, trying to distract myself from walking in this fine weather. A person can only read so much in one night... although I think that "The Bitch in the House" should be required for all people with real lives to live. Apparently a sequel entitled "Bastard of the House", or something like that was recently released.

There are so many events going on in the big Chi-town right now, it's so hard to choose which seem to be the most significantly satisfying. The "Found" film debut, David Sedaris @ Borders, Wicker Park Junk Sale, Some author speaking about Dive Bars @ Quimby's, Ribfest, Movies in the Park, etc, etc, etc.

Am I wrong for liking the songs I've heard from "Get Behind Me Satan?"

Autumn & Ben came to visit this weekend, and thankfully we spent some time sunning, socializing, and making fun of people with dogs on Montrose beach. What is the story on these stupid plastic things they have made to throw balls for your dogs to fetch? Are people really too lazy to use their arms? I feel like I am missing something...

F.Y.I pretty much everything sucks at H&M right now... so don't even bother.

Does anyone know if there is a Polish tradition of lighting candles to guide the soul of a person who has recently died?

Current Mood: calm
Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
9:51 am
Sweating Bullets
My body feels sore, specifically my calves, and for no reason... I haven't given thought to the gym in weeks, and don't plan on making a trip any time soon. It's sooo god damned hot in this apartment, a majority of the time I feel like I am suffocating in my pillows.

I have the day off, but I am up this early so people can poke around my insides and tell me I am healthy. Gross. This is, of course, followed up by a hair appt. with Brenna... You win some, you lose some. Storms and Rainbows. Diamonds in Roughs, what?

If I get any more melodrama in my life, it might as well be documented on day time T.V. Usually I deal better with these events occurring, but recently it's making it's making me repulsed and worn out. I hate people and their ridiculous behavior and the torment to which they all subject themselves and I don't feel a pinch of empathy.

Autumn & Ben are coming up on Thursday and I am peeing my pants. I can't fucking wait. I love Autumn... and I am thinking I will love Ben as well, in the near future. Too bad they won't be able to bring a bit of the Carbondale pace up to the Chi-town... and a bit of the 70s decor too.

Royal is laying on my fingers and I am trying to type this, so it's going to end here, plus it's Summer, so you can imagine what else is going on:

1. Bike Rides
2. BBQs
3. Jill's premixed vodka drinks
4. Sleeping with fans
5. PC non-stop
6. White trash outfits
7. Vacation planning
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
1:43 pm
Arrival Delayed
I just finished my Bible as Literature final. It consisted of coming to class, getting the 3 prompt options, then writing a complete 5 page essay on one of the topics. I chose to do 3 negative and 3 positive Biblical woman characters. If you've never read the story of Judith, you probably should... it's short... and there's beheading involved.

I am decidedly certain that Wicker Park needs some sort of all night diner better than the Hollywood, it's too bright and fancy inside there. I went last night to get away from a drunken Jessica and Don. I can't wait to move away from that melodrama... I am thinking of something which involves wood paneling, yellow lights, brown vinyl booths, with a sprinkle of rust-color carpet. The claim to fame will be that we serve sweet potato pie with every order... as a tribute to Southern novelty. Keeping with this train of thought, the bathroom theme will be Mardi Gras.

This is about all I have time for right now, 2 bitch-ass classes left...

Current Mood: awake
Saturday, May 28th, 2005
1:38 pm
Homeward Bound
I do such a spectacular job with procrastination. I just completed a weird picture cleansing rampage. I threw away so many, and the experience made me sick to my stomach because there are some parts the past Morgan that I want to just disown. I didn't know I was such a picture pack rat, which is fucking stupid. However, I did come to the final decision that my hair looks best shorter... and surprisingly... blonder?

I got pretty drunk last night with Andy and Kev, then we played perhaps the only complete game of monopoly I've ever participated in. There were so many hotels! Not enough board games in my life, balderdash specifically. I want to participate in scrabble tournaments. Then I sent Grace some weird text messages trying to instigate something... There was also a short walk, which I appreciated.

The P's are coming to pick me up from the PC tonight... My little brother graduates from "Hike-skool" on Sunday. This means sitting in a hot, stuffy gym listening to some people drone on for about 2 hours about shit I most definitely don't care about. Then a party at my house with lots of weird people I don't know... and trying to blend into the corner when distant relatives ask me how school is going and If I like Chicago or not. There will be commentary about how I look... sick. Should I tell them I want to take a year off and use this as an excuse to eventually move into a trailer? Or how about my plans to move to the Czech Republic... Prague, specifically... a decidedly cheap European city.

I need some mindless time today, so the PC isn't really looking that bad... just the closing business. Let's hope it rains... (the sun came out while I was typing that statement). Bye, everyone take care of yourselves this weekend... so much traveling.

Current Mood: blank
Thursday, May 26th, 2005
3:00 am
Needle Marks
I've been sewing for about 8 hours straight... this is on top of the 4 hours I spent at school today, and all of last night. Good thing when I graduate I will be at the top of the sweatshop knowing how to finish a seam 10 different ways.

I have been without a working cell phone for 4, going on 5 days now. It's a different lifestyle... even though I ran out and immediately bought the most ghetto model of house phone available. I am finding myself staring enviously at anyone using their cell, which makes me think I might be a bit too dependent. There's a quiz on this topic in Columbia's most recent issue of Echo if you wanna check your own status.

I missed Louis XIV tonight... tickets on the counter, playing the cd on repeat... I got to pretend I was at the concert. I could still download the ringtone when I get the new phone.

I finished "Love in the Time of Cholera" today... I had 4 pages I saved from last night. It's worth the read, a bit sad... and frustrating.

There is a hole in my finger where I dug out that splinter of glass last night, and with all this hand sewing, the rounded end of pins keep pressing the indentation deeper, it's rather repulsive.

For those of you who don't know, we gave Jack, our slum lord, our notice yesterday, so that means I will be outta this jankity apartment by Aug 1st, if anyone has any awesome places they know about around the Logan Square area.

Either way, there's more, but the humming machines and blinding lights of the sweatshop are calling...

Current Mood: tired
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
10:54 pm
Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows...
Today I understand what old age is all about... I just wish I were pissing my pants and taking all my meals blended to prove it.

Autumn is in the hospital and all I can picture is her with a neck brace... and I can't stop crying for her... then me... then her again. It is times like this when owning a car is mandatory and life actually has a reason to be put on hold.

Current Mood: depressed
Saturday, May 21st, 2005
9:25 am
Donde Estan Los Patitos?
My eyes feel as if someone pasted them open with glue...

I have days worth of homework due in the next week....

Coffee yogurt does not go well with actual coffee...

I can't wait for tattooed eyeliner...

How did I go so long naive to Gael Garcia Marquez?

My nose keeps draining everywhere...

Autumn is too far away, and will be there too long...

I need to soon acquire "The Life Aquatic"...

The new Star Wars movie could have been an hour shorter...

Track 1 of the Clem Snide mix has graced my ipod 21 time since last Friday...

Current Mood: geeky
Friday, May 20th, 2005
2:33 am
"I don't wanna know me better...."
I never realized that the Division bus runs so late... and it drops off right in front of Kevin's apartment. Tonight was slow, but I didn't really mind in comparison with the day's roller coaster. No one can complain about drinking too much wine, snuggling up on the floor with pillows and blankets, then waking up in a puddle of your own drool.

So I am signing up for a triathlon at the end of August... we have a group of 5. I am hoping this proves to be a positive commitment, since I haven't been to the gym in a month, and I haven't frequented a lap swim in about 6 or more. And does trotting around my neighborhood really count as running? All I can say is it ain't pretty on the knees...

Does anyone know of any good night time Summer jobs I can apply for? I am thinking something involving tips... or crafting? How dangerous is it that my finger has healed what with seems to be a sliver of glass inside? Why is menagerie the word of the day? Who doesn't know what that means?

Current Mood: sleepy
Friday, May 13th, 2005
8:55 am
A ridiculous quiz, not worth your time taking.



You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!





Full of hope and promise.
But in the end, a cheap letdown.




Current Mood: awake
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
6:00 pm
Now Showing : "Overpriced movie hour @ Columbia College"
I couldn't think of anything better to do before class, so I am here, writing in the Library. I think I've probably used almost every computer lab on campus, it's usually what I do when I have minutes between classes. Look online at the same dumb shit I can't really even afford to buy. I had to sell clothes I bought last week to PC this morning just to get cash to eat, get muslin, and travel.

I will be trekking to Carbondale this weekend if anyone is looking for me... via Greyhound. The positive of this is the fact that I don't have to do any driving... it always makes me so sleepy and I can't concentrate. However, riding in this luxurious vehicle will allow me to practice my napping skills.

So what the fuck is up with my hands lately? I have cuts, bruises, scrapes and embedded glass shards.

I want to see Louis XIV @ Metro on the 25th and Martha on the 31st, they are both $10 if anyone in interested.

I am pretty excited that I somehow managed to dig outta that rut I was in a for a quick minute. I mean, it will never be over completely, but I feel a bit more rational... this makes me want to create a list.

Vacations to take this summer:

1. World's Longest Yardsale (Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama)
2. NYC (I am long overdue on this one... preferably around the time when the Mermaid Parade is going on)
3. Anywhere in Canada, even if I have to rent a god damned car and drive 5 minutes across the border
4. Savannah, Georgia (for southern novelty purposes)
5. U.P. (free to stay with Kim)

P.S. Check out this weeks Reader "antisocial"... I want to the part of the humans going topless with thongs or whatever the fuck they call themselves...
Eddie Bauer needs to be boycotted for their atrocious frumpster designs.

Current Mood: crazy
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
1:56 pm
"If you want clean fun, go buy a kite"
GROSS...Gross...gross. This is the only word which can describe the state of affairs today. I wrote the rest of my paper on "The Acquisition of Naboth's Vineyard" in a hungover stupor. When I left the room, the window was open and wind shattered my plate on the floor. All this while wearing a my dirty comforter as a dress. There was some napping on the floor in front of the door wrapped in this blanket as well. And so many long hugs I couldn't even handle it.

The show last night was my favorite of all the PS shows I've gone to... however everything seemed to conclude in a whirlwind of crazy... for all parties involved. Was I really yelling? "Wind you up, and make you crawl to me.. Tie you up until you call to me."

The skin on my fingers won't stop peeling, revealing the stingy, tender flesh beneath. My nails are chipped while the cuticles need pushing and trimming. This is the mentality of the month. The only things that matter are those in front of my face... hands typing on a keyboard, crumbs on my sweater, the tightening in my chest from caffeine and stress.

It is with this mindset that I must go teach small children how to use their body's buoyancy to stay afloat in water... and with enthusiasm. Sick.

Current Mood: distressed
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
12:21 pm
Will someone please call the surgeon
Yesterday I defeated my brain... when I felt the control slowly slipping away to a scholastic slump, I took some meditative breathes... and said to myself, outloud, "Fuck You." Who knew this would work? Who am I?

However, I hate trickery, and my life seems to be full of it. Today the slump is beginning to work it's magic. I despise my Thursdays. There is too much time before class to work myself into any type of frenzy my little brain desires, depending on the weather, of course.

I am a trashpile. Tye-die? To school? I will be the first to admit that there are tiny holes in the bottom of my shirt. You know I am in some sort of fit when I am wearing the frumpy brown Gap sweater. Royal took revenge on me last night in my sleep. He left me with an attractive bloody scratch on my forehead because I refuse to pet him while lying on my face.

So let's discuss my Race, Class, and Gender class for a moment. I have missed most of the semester, or so it feels. I am 2 online responses behind on articles I can't even seem to locate and there's a paper due in class today that I discovered only minutes prior. I want to fail almost as much as I want to be kidnapped... for the bank of novelty experiences only.

I realized today that I am quite frequently using scholastics as an excuse to evade the gym... There's something depressing about stale air and cocky men. And I am beginning to think the "White Trash Diet" is only a half joke. Who doesn't want to start the day off with a macaroni salad entree, mounds of shells and cheese for lunch, and to punctuate it all with a fried chicken banquet?

My hands are shaking and the lights in here are blinding, so hopefully, this will all catch you up on the state of affairs. Oh yeah, and I feel especially unbalanced due to the fact that I've been listening to the same 3 CDs on repeat...

Current Mood: pessimistic
Monday, May 2nd, 2005
7:13 pm
Shades of Gray
I can't really decide where I stand today. I was feeling spectacular this morning... I finished "Running with Scissors" last night, and all the craziness made me feel a bit crazy myself... drinking hot chocolate in bed in May. I wanted to be the one throwing all the dishes into my front lawn. Either way, onto "Love in the Time of Cholera," anything to deter from the homework at hand. I can't focus on anything of importance.

I wanted to go to the gym, but the monetary confrontation with the boss killed the mood, I am lying to myself that I may go for a run later. But then again, who knows, it's not like I can write a paper on Helmut Newton at this moment or in this state of mind. Plus I just hooked the ipod on the charger, so I must have some subsconcious intentions.

Right now I am down to the last of foods in the cabinet. Chocolate powerbars anyone? I am drinking coffee with creamer!!! And I am broke as ever, so don't expect any tasty snacks over here... In addition to this, my cooking skills are failing.

Does anyone with Tmobile know if you can up your contract minutes in the middle?

I desperately need to go to coffee tonight. I would prefer the Golden Angel on Irving Park, but Hollywood is sounding like a tolerable substitute. I want to sit there silent until my sight is blurred by the yellowing lights and cigarette smoke, then I'll fall asleep with a packet of crushed saltines in my lap and my face in a bowl of congealed chicken rice soup.

Current Mood: drained
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
10:31 am
Sleeping in til 9
Jesus, there is so much to say, yet my brain feels empty. Trying to read "Running w/ scissors" last night, the words ended up blurring together. I slept pretty well, only waking up once, and that time I was a bit groggy. Class isn't til 1:30, but I am trying to get back into the "gym" routine. For not working out, my body is feeling so weak.

We watched "Capturing the Friedman's" last night, and I want the younger version of Jesse Friedman... sick, right? I loved the style of it all, and of course the absurdity of the family.

I am getting acupuncture this week, if everything works out, hopefully this will prove relaxing. They have massages at the P.C. of M. for just $30 an hour, which is also a pretty sweet deal that I will be keeping in mind.

Everyone should sign up for your free horoscope at dailyastrology.com. Mine have been dead on the past couple of weeks. And while you are signing up for daily emails, dictionary.com's word of the day is pretty spectacular.

And that's all I got...

Current Mood: drained
Monday, April 25th, 2005
9:04 pm
Eating Teddy Grahams in Your Sleep
I am licking the frosting off a piece of Jessica's birthday cake, while Kevin and I discuss the "dying season." Today I was a monster bitch, due to these migraines I've been having lately... I am going to write them off as dehydration. Also I had trouble sleeping last night. Apparently I was having dreams about playing high school basketball against Luke, who wasn't even trying. There were also these people sitting in the crowd who had constructed a viking ship float, apparently a mascot, with a flag waving from the mast with the initials S.K.A.N.K, whatever that stood for. I know, I know... I barely even believed it to be true while dreaming. The people who made it were Chris Weaver and Karl Handler. (I put these names in for your sake, Autumn)

I went back to the gym today, and instead of yelling... Mark told me that I am always so cute, especially when my dimple is getting deeper. Either way, I was feeling shitty when I got there... better when I left.

Off to a shakey start, the day is getting progressively better. I received my first issue of Blackbook magazine at this apartment and just finished up reading a third of it in one sitting. For those of you who haven't experienced this marvelous piece of literature, you should run out and get a good dose of underground culture. Who knew that a video of Southern girls pulling 40lb catfish out of rivers with their bare hands even existed. It's called "Girls Gone Grabbin'" if you are interested, and if you find the site, please send it to me.

This weekend proved entertaining. I ate fancy food and drank free wine at the Fashion Columbia reception. I had tapas for my first time ever... and white sangria. Andy and I lit some fireworks off in the "lot" behind my apartment and I finally watched "Motorcycle Diaries." I also started a new book, "Running with Scissors," which has already proved more than just mild entertainment. Everything is on the upswing.

Is it really true that Dolly Parton said, "To get the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain?"

Current Mood: amused
Thursday, April 21st, 2005
5:47 pm
Eat, Sleep, Drink & Breathe Fashion
I can't concentrate... everything is hazy. I've gotten about 7 or 8 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights combined. You know something is off kilter when I am eating twix when not feeling bloated. Actually twix an addition to the list of gross foods consumed in the past couple of days. For example, Star crunch, coffee flavored chocolate, chocolate chip cookies, etc. Why is chocolate so happy?

I finished all I could of my strip dress muslin. It's pretty sweet, western snaps and all. Does anyone have an extra $100 for the fabric? It will set me back more than that when I finish the other skirt and shirt in the collection.

Gross, I just saw this boy who tried to talk to me in the gym once... creepy lurkers are unwelcome today. He's looking goofy and uncomfortably hot.

Can anyone come to the fashion show tom. nite? It's @ 6, we can watch it together. I am in the one at 8, but there are free drinks... champagne I would guess. I am actually pretty excited about this... I tried to get my dad to go in with me on some at home... "celebrating dysfunctionality," I claimed, but instead he opened up some cheap Christmas wine.

I have class in a couple of minutes and Shelly just informed me that you can actually miss 3 without failing. I should have dropped R,C,G when I had the chance. I just feel bad because I didn't go last week... I was eating fried chicken dinners, playing HORSE, and wondering what life in a trailer would really be like. Seems to me it would be added to the same list as the week I was a carny, under the category of novelty experiences.

I could probably fall asleep right here in this comp. chair at the library and sleep for at least 5 hours, but then I would miss the opportunity to wear my new C. Ronson dress and get shit-faced.

I am liking how disjointed this entry seems, thus backing up my previous claim that I can't concentrate right now.

I am missing Grace these days... I hate hearing how she hangs out with ridiculous people she can barely stand, it's a travesty. Whatever happened to the SpeakEasy and having men closer to our fathers' ages buying us cabs home from neigbhorhoods we never knew existed?

I am due for visiting the doctor on all accounts. All kinds of doctors. Check up doctors, therapy doctors, hair dryer doctors.....

Current Mood: weird
Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
8:38 am
I love the Unknown
I am supposed to be looking online for my damned Prada outline I hurriedly wrote last week. This stupid cat keeps pacing back and forth below my desk, dusting the back of my knees with his tail. I love him, but he's gotta go somewhere soon, he makes the house twice as dirty, twice as fast.

I am dreading school today. So many fluorescent lights, under them I look sickly. I am also out of laundry so my clothes will inevitably be dirty.

I forgot to mention the fact that while at the flea market on Sunday we saw a grown man in a cage which was labeled "children's cage." This thought crossed my mind a couple of times yesterday so it's probably worth mentioning. It was the stuff nightmares are made of.

Last night was nothing short of spectacular on all accounts. Went back to the gym where Mark claimed he didn't remember what I looked like after being gone only a week. I ate subway and made some copies at the library. At home browsed through the new W. Natalie Portman looks the sexiest possible. Then I dominated Andy in scrabble, then watched "Drop Dead Gorgeous."

I just realized that Fashion Columbia is this fucking Friday, April 22nd. Who takes garments a week in advance for a show? Well, now that it's all settled, everyone who wants to come should let me know so I can get you tickets. You have all of 3 days to decide. Jesus, this brings an unexpected dose of chaos to my life.
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